Going through life knowing what you are meant to do, but feeling like there is a wall stopping you from achieving it, is something that most people can likely relate to.  For Scott Williams, however, it was less of a wall and more of a river, the Hudson River to be exact. A river can rush you away from the location you were trying to reach, setting you miles away from where you wanted to go.  Another thing about rivers, is you can drown without ever reaching the other side. And some rivers have alligators whose main goal is stopping you from reaching the other side.  That alligator was Scott’s wife.

Scott spent his entire high school career pining after the prettiest girl in school and finally got the girl. However, after high school Rebecca began to change into a stoic machine who became so focused on her future she lost the present. However, Scott stayed with her.

He went through his day-to-day life in a trance.  He hadn’t much to complain about it, and had the successful life everyone thought he would. However, something was still missing. Something he’d given up for Rebecca, his passion for theater, because it didn’t fit the image she wanted them to portray.

Secretly, Scott never gave up on the theater, frequently traveling to NYC to see Broadway shows when his wife was away on a business trip.  He even had friends who were in the show business. His close friend, Francis, was a talent manager for amateur actors looking to break into the business, and one day when they met for lunch, Francis suggested that he should go to an open call for the reboot of a show scheduled to open next year.  

“It would be great.  It wouldn’t even matter if you got the role, it would just be fun to go and experience it,” said Francis.  “Theater used to be your dream. You were amazing on the stage, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your friend.  I know talent when I see it. It’s like a gut feeling, and I get it everytime you sing.”

“Eh, I don’t know, you know how Rebecca is about me and theater,” Scott replied.

“Of course I do. She won’t even let you listen to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack at home!  Who doesn’t love Andrew Lloyd Webber?”  Francis sounded like she was holding herself back from saying other things she disliked about Rebecca.  She had gone to high school with Rebecca and Scott, so she had plenty of years to rack up a list of them.  “You have to go to it.”  

“Fine, fine, fine, I’ll go!”

“Good, I’m happy now.”

As Scott opened the door to the audition center, nervousness overwhelmed his body.  He didn’t know how he was going to do this. While he barely had time to prepare his audition, everyone else had been working for months for this one moment.  He ran over his audition song in his head thinking about how to sing it perfectly.

“Scott Williams? It’s time for your audition,” said the audition manager. 

Scott stood up and shakily walked the through the door. This was his childhood dream.  This is what his life could’ve been if he didn’t lose himself to pursue Rebecca.     

“Whenever you’re ready, Scott,” said one of the casting agents. 

As Scott began sinbging, he began to see what was on the other side of his river and knew that he wanted to make it across.  He could picture himself center stage, a spotlight trained on his face, bellowing out a song in front of a crowd who all had bought tickets to see him perform. This was what he was meant to do.  

After the last note was finished in the song, the directors had Scott read through lines from the show.  He made it through the first few words, but stumbled over the next one and it was like a chain reaction that he couldn’t stop.  He began to butcher every word that tried to escape his mouth until the casting agent stopped him.

“Thank you that is enough,” he said.  “Was this your first professional audition?”

“Yes sir,” replied Scott.  

“Well, your singing was phenomenal, but you just desperately need to work on your delivery of lines.”

“Okay, thank you I will.  Thank you for your time.” Scott nodded his head to say goodbye and walked out of the room.

After he left the building Scott called Francis to tell her about the open call.

“I just finished the audition and it was terrible.  I stumbled over every line. However, I need to thank you.  I’ve missed the theater and I’ve decided I need to pursue this.” 

“I knew that you would love it.  And don’t worry about messing up, it’s your first time.  You’ll do better at the next one and I’ll set you up with good acting coach.”

“Thank you, Francis.” 

When he arrived home late that night,a single lamp burned in his living room.  Rebecca. Scott walked into the house and took a deep breath.

“Where have you been?  And don’t tell me, ‘at the firm,’ because that’s where I was,” said Rebecca.  She sat reading a book.

“I was in New York, at an open call for a show.” 

Rebecca snapped her head up, angry and disappointed.

“It was amazing. You know how it was my dream to perform on Broadway.”

“Yeah, maybe when you were fourteen, but now you’re thirty-seven and have an actual job.  Not one that involves being on a stage in a silly costume making a fool of yourself. And not just yourself, me!”

By this point Rebecca was fuming.  When they had become engaged, she said his pursuing theater was a deal-breaker.  Now, Scott realized that Rebecca not allowing him to pursue his dreams should’ve been the deal-breaker long ago.  Now, he was ready to to start swimming across the river, towards the side he so desperately wanted to be on, so he held his breath and jumped.

“Rebecca, you are my wife who I love and chose to marry, because I believed you would support me and my aspirations, as much as I support yours.  But, now I realize, you only supported the goals you made me have, and that’s not something I can live with anymore. There’s a whole other life I want to live, and I’ll never have it if I keep pretending to be happy in this routine I am stuck in.  I’m sorry if you don’t chose to support me, but if you do, I would be very happy.”

“I’m sorry, Scott, but I just can’t condone this horrible decision,” said Rebecca.  She sounded like a mother talking to a foolish child. “I’ll give you a week to realize the mistake you’re making, but after that, I’m calling a divorce attorney.”

After a week of crashing on a friend’s sofa and attending acting classes surrounded by people much less talented than him, Scott still didn’t regret his decision. If Rebecca wouldn’t stay married to him because he wanted to pursue his dream of being on Broadway, then why was she married to him in the first place?  This is who he was.

*****

Now seven months after the divorce, Scott still didn’t regret his decision.  He hadn’t been cast in any shows, but he knew that there were thousands of people trying to get into this business and it takes time.  He took acting classes at night and went to auditions on the weekends. Occasionally, he would land a small role in an off-Broadway show.  

Since Rebecca’s life was their law firm, Scott left it and found a job at another one.  It was much smaller than his old firm, but it was less busy and allowed Scott to have more free time.  

Earlier, he’d received a callback for a new show soon to debut soon on Broadway.  He’d been a nervous wreck the whole week, thinking about it.  

At the audition, he went through the normal routine: signing in, sitting, waiting, and then auditioning; it was almost routine.  After Scott finished singing, the room was completely silent.  

The director smiled at him and turned to the rest of the people at the table. “I think we’ve found our lead.”  He walked towards Scott. “Congratulations, welcome to Broadway!”

It was that moment when all the pieces of the puzzle fell together and Scott knew that this is the life he was destined to live.  After swimming as hard as he could, he had finally made it across the river and was ready for everything this side had to offer.

By Morgan Murnane, Class of 2020

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